Visions of You

History connects in slits of time
Moments born from flashes of changes

Past seemingly lost 

like tarnished silver 

yet lingering malevolence 

etches slowly in arsenic  

The abyss of longing 

From strands of your hair to the tips of your fingers

The visions of you

From the curve of your lips to the lines of your tears

One day my words may fail you or many days they may

One day my memories may fail me or they may yet so

I will forgive all your transgressions 

I will carry all my contradictions 

I just want to make you happier 

with a method I can understand

with as much effort I can muster 

I can apologize when I see my errors 

for misunderstanding you

for misunderstanding myself 

If apologizing simply for the sake of apology

it is empty

the moment of validation holds no truth

I can recall how exactly our paths cross
How each image of you pierces into me
A road tiled with fascination around attachment

vague in definition but pristine 
A vestige of you created in my mind in chaotic perfection

The Respawn

Best stories start in medias res

Why so? Isn't the beginning the brightest time

Without the burdens of misaligned interests

Without the conflicting paths of personal histories 

Without the jadedness towards failed revolutions 

Without the weariness from repeated disappointments 

But patience serves so far

We can only understand each other so much through words and paper

Those subtle hints that complete the frame

What could bring tears of joy

What could bring the smirk of ire

What could bring the eyebrow raise of disgust 

What could bring the stone-faced disinterest 

The beginning is a tale of unnecessary sufferings, unintended misunderstandings, unfilled potentials, and unwanted mishaps

Many say the simple course of inescapable certainty

While destiny will overlook the backtracked adventures 

Only the ember of impatience kindles and slowly crisps a light-hearted faith 

Again and again, a path of pain built on misguided hopes 

Drowning a cry that yearns for a simple truth 

Where is the end? 

But in all honesty, 

How much longer can I keep my head high until I get there?

But perhaps only in the abyss you can distinguish the faintest of bright

The intonation of the bleakest despair raises the stakes of survival

While my heart still bleeding, muscles still torn, and bones still broken

I am not without the struggle in my mind

With that, hope finds its respawn

Memories of the Stars

It is a wellspring of inspiration
based on an intuition without cause

It is a complexity's explosion
raced on an excursion without laws

A name once heard and told as mundane
But now precious
Entangled in the maelstrom of emotions

A face once seen and forgotten in passing

Now memorable

Restless treading in the path of a typhoon

On the slope that divided the night,
On the bank that flashed fireflies,
On the steps where solitude slew,
reasons, laid to rest,
I heard my resonating heartbeats flew
Unfamiliar, and afraid to move

Shall we dance for the waxing crescent?
Shall we drink to the passing stardust?

At the edge of the universe,
would my words still convey the same sense of longing?

On the slope that divides the night
I am still waiting for that one destined to appear

Her and Ultimatum

When I first held your hand
those fingers were special
The first impression indeed terrible
nonetheless
A crack on a shell,
the boundaries cease,
A new world to tell
with a stubbornness I treasured
and talents I admired

Yet that world is too precious
and this world too cruel
Those desires blinded me
confined me to a gamble
and those fingers slipped through my grasp
the ending was bound to fail

So I sought new paths
no longer daring as I thought foolish
The fire dies a little by a little
but the night is not dark
The paradise of sloth is emptiness
sailor I no longer am
sea still roam I can

I will not become a hero
but a simple seeker of truth
If avarice is the end,
let each man judge for his own
and make amends

But truth returns no joys,
my hands are still empty
Perhaps one day it will grasp your again
but would I make it
before the world ends

There are no flawless logic
There are no painless gains
There are no endless sufferings
Would everything be alright
before the world ends?
I hope it will
I hope it well

The Longest Night

The radiance of a full moon
hides not the void of starlight
Biting gently on my fingertips,
a seeping chill crawls into my heart

In this night that glimmer is distant
my lantern's glow rather inconsistent
Plunging into a dream seems pleasant
but waking suddenly, sweetness nonexistent

The distant horizon looks bleak
because it is not a crossroad I seek
Instead, an end to all journeys
as the summit eases
and my footprints cease
into those clouds
a mist-encased shroud

The thrill of travels
threading the fine fringe
comes with an understanding
that the eventual nesting
lies the familiar branches
above the roadside gravels

And so my steps continue and continue on
to that hill where the wind sang
in the crimson twilight
and a hand waiting to grasp mine

Oh the mighty
grant a blessing to the struggle
such that it is known--the longest night

In the Silence of Our Prayers

The crowd shuffled,
and the preacher went on.

Grandiose
principles in eager,
Promises of fates
"Strength and dignity"
Outcries blood for blood

The crowd dispersed,
and the preacher went on.
Fragile
unity in jeopardy,
Glares of antipathy
"Impenitence and loathing"
Swallow tears for tears

In silence, the crowd desists
Puzzled by vague sketch
Surely not all roads go to Rome
yet which one leads home?

Free Will

If we chose to be free,
then we are free to choose
The freedom to be evil
should it be a choice?

If we claimed to love all
then we cannot love a first
Without first comes none
should none be loved?

A fearless charge ends in brevity
The mist of contradiction hides all paths
Though I am their creation
I witnessed none of their glories
knew none of their nobilities
and nothing lingering on my fingers
have touched their eternity

So what is tingling my resting heart?

The land where intents lay bare
with obligations thin
Beyond the farthest reach of duty,
A flag still stands there
Though the body is feeble,
and the gears fade,
the momentum continues to carry
until ceasing of pains.

I may not possess a heart that is tender
But its echoes resound and do not wither

The deep roots sprouting a small herb
lush and vivid rivaling a full bloom
The brief spark may flicker
A blaze it will ignite, embracing all others

Though I may not hold anything
My soul is not empty
When everything is held dear
Transient it may be
A strong will that is free

Impassionate Youth

What effort will bring forth
A peerless specialty
Though graceful it may not be
Grinning in tears and sweats

Where yearning comes to rest
An endless homeland
Though fateful it may not be
Pinning with cheers and hopes

Logical, systematic, and complete
Even casual decision is held dear

Choices, fallacies, and exceptions
I err in heart but not in blood

An impossible scenery to reach
beyond an overbearing bulwark
Yet I lean on others' shoulders
where it draws closer, the heaven's border

From fangs to claws, and from claws to bones
Even when my strength is frail,
redo, redo, redo, Redo

For a greater ideal that I call justice
For a greater unity that I call peace


So pay thy prize
Rise again,
Once More
For those we treasure
and those we adore

Victory is ephemeral,
amidst furious battle cries
Let my soul be still, and
May the best player win

Senorious

The car has been roasting in the sun
My front row windows are half-down
and for once, my radio was sleeping

I did not make through the traffic light on yellow
Engines pulling away across the interaction,
leaving the dusty air and a hint of oil

I saw him, the man standing on the side of the curb

I sat in silence
The light turned red

On a small piece of cardboard, "Anything helps"
He wore a dirty jacket, bearded, a ragged baseball cap

I made eye contact,
and he approached

Two seconds of surprise
Two seconds of indecision
And blanking flat line, coming
The end of a familiar world

What is the natural reaction?
Should I pity him? As reciting a prayer...
Should I bribe his departure? How much is enough?
Should I stare into the distance and limit my attention?
Should I turn up the radio and look busy tuning frequency?
Should I roll up my windows?
Should I give him a hug and get back in the car?
Should I spit on him and curse his transgression?

I looked under my arm rest but then remembered
my changes are stored in a quart-size Ziplok bag
in my backpack but out of reach
I looked into my wallet
and there is a single $20 bill
Then I looked into his eyes
"I am sorry. I don't have my changes on me."

He didn't say a word.
He waited for a moment and he moved onto the car behind mine

I sat in silence
The light turned green

At the end of the world,
what would you do?
Are you busy?
Would you save us?
Can you save us?

Mr. Trap on the Schrödinger Street

Even at the world's end

Avarice invites ill intents

For the enactment of justice

Should the delusion of Avalon burn?

Together with the earnest wishes of millions



Yet we are here on Terra

Hatred bears self-conceit

Forth the cry of gripe

Should the circus of institution crumble?

Though still stand dignity and reason



No doubt that a day will the heaven fall

And what left in the ashes of quibbles

Lives cheapened to playthings

Puppeteers simply change hands

Shows go on with a sly smile



We all know what should not be permitted

We all know what needs to be done

When the day of reckoning comes

Raise your voice and offer a prayer

For the fight, it has just begun



Nothing in our hands will be perfect

but with nothing in our hands

it is perfectly stupid

I pray that the battle be neither absolute or holy

but simple, civil, and rational





The side of the night is at -250%



(Facebook Repost)

Kotomine Kirei

Rejoice, Fakers,
For your purpose shall be fulfilled
Witness the true face of evil
The agglomeration of madness and malice
the phantasm that will mark the end of the world

For whom the revolution that never stops
the end is near
For whom the anarchy that yet descends
the end is near
For whom the icon that never persists
the end is near
For whom the decision that yet concretes
the end is near

O brave souls, twisted souls, tormented souls
the torrential beast silently watches all
Your glory, your sin, and your agony
enshrine every aspect of humanity
and will erupt in unprecedented chaos
erecting a monument of what we cannot escape

Do not avert your eyes
Do not close your hearts
Embrace the tempest just beyond the horizon
and touch the nature's contempt

The Sword of Promised Victory

Faith is for the transient people.

A spark that brightens the vast empty space
A ripple that tickles the everlasting eternity

It brings peace of acceptance
exclamation of camaraderie
and fulfillment of a greater destiny

Yet it is not perfect at times

It brings condescension of ignorance
malignancy of segregation
and rejection of a greater union

A refuge for our likeliness
and a cauldron for our conflicts

Then
whose responsibility to make so?
how far would these hands extend?
what means are not justifiable to the end?
All against the wheel of fortune,
ever-turning machinery of time...

The concrete limitation of being human


Yet indecision
among overwhelming confusions
does not obscure the spot of hope,
the eternal sunshine guided by reasons
and an unparalleled optimism

Thus, I placed my fate
into the hands of my brothers and sisters
entrusted with common decency.
Together a haven is built
not to shelter our fears or faults
but to cherish our shares of duty.

Victory may seem intangible
and by my arm's length,
out of reach
But in each of our heart,
a sincere wish for the happiness of all
will become a golden blade that pierces through the blinding darkness


PS: I will be switching to embedded code from pixiv on all the images that I manage to find, so look out for some updates on old pieces. 

Chronicle Keys

Through the morning mist
The shouts of the golden horns
draw the curtain of dawn

Over the night frost
The dew on the silver thorns
brew the gown of twilight

Cycling suns and stars
My footsteps never paused and never halted
Where is my destination
What will be my consolation

Ambition makes me sneer
Despair makes me hollow
Indignation makes me screech
followed by endless sorrow

It is too late to stop
It is too late to return
Maybe the road is full of madness
But there is nowhere to turn

Straightforward I say
Into the dark and uncertain fray
Even gods I will slay
If they do stand in my way

But no, this is not what I wanted

"Neither elegance nor dignity,"
fury stroke a march on cord
Give me instead,
a method to make a gentler world

A song that will free the hearts
A song that will link our hands
Turn another page in the chronicle
Turn another key for a future
not ordained by an oracle

I offer my prayer and my labor

Again, Blossoming of the Earth

Even if the world comes to an end
With a crumbled destiny that no one can mend
Stroke the melody of silent howls
Again, blossoming of the earth

Would you change the world?
Or, would you change yourself?
Trivial daily boons
swept away by the maelstrom of fate

Passing flurries of cherry blossoms
Last regret and first yearning
And the world ends
with the fulfillment of servitude

Bustling fields of sunflowers
Assured decay and chanced salvation
And the world ends
with the antidote to loneliness

Palliating wellsprings of daisies
Selfish wishes and encumbering duties
And the world ends
with the cognizance of reality

Star-crossed paths of catnip
Simple happiness and despairing chaos
And the world ends
with the promise of reunion

Blood-stained ladders of roses
Vanishing self and encroaching madness
And the world ends
with the atonement to sin

Life blossoms one thousand times
Withering fated and unaltered
in the desolated search with endless failures

Would love be the singularity?
Possibilities will rise from ashed branches
Burden is not yours alone

Keep dreaming
Cry out in the acrimony of the powerless
Repudiate weaknesses and corruptions
and march forward with all my might

Go on
Your million-year journey
When you finally rest
we will meet again

Ah, these ineffable feelings...


*Reconstruction from previous post of "Again, Blossoms of the Earth."

Heavy spoilers, maybe.

It took a while to finish the video, but hopefully it will stay out of the audio claim mute. Yuuhei Satellite's song was really the driving force behind the reorganization, as Senya's vocal is just amazing. BTW, this is their original and not a Touhou remix.

With regards to Rewrite, I definitely enjoyed it better than Clannad due to its more simplified flag paths. I seriously don't have that much time for gaming, so cramming the humor, the action, and the Key-special heart wrenching story into one package was rather thankful. So the heroine ranking follows:  Lucia = Chihaya > Kagari > Akane > Kotori = Shizuru. Maybe I am not a fan of classic Key heroine archetypes. Yoshino and other side characters didn't really fit into the music, so their cameos are rather limited.

This will make up for my blogging absence in the past nine months. Enjoy!

Katana

A katana is a type of sword specialized in cutting.
Its silhouette is curved but will not bend.
Its edge is hardened yet inside soft.
It embodies the pride of a warrior and safeguards the soul of a hero.
It is a cross in reverse, a prayer of sublime devotion.
It is a mark of passing, an icon of a finished journey.
It is a symbol of force, separating parts through sheer strength.
It is a keeper of memories, a chronicle of humanity in glory and in writhe.
It may be an offering for peace,
but not to forget,
its purpose may also be an instrument for death.
It cuts, or it breaks, or it is sheathed.
It is neither good or evil.
Instead, it prints the will and the nature of the wielder.
But not all,
for some, it is an extension of fresh;
for some, it is an burden of heavy steel.
It may grant great power, at the cost of great effort.
It may change the course of history,
but it may just be as useless as its target.
So many and so many aspects of it are unsure,
but its purpose remains certain,
it is born and lives to cut.

The Stars of Youth

The stars are fluttering in the endless rhythms,
with their trails of endless glittering.
For youngsters have taken them,
into the never ending beats of joy.
Bursts of life and of love,
breaking restraints that have placed on them,
overthrowing the laws that have decreed on them,
shattering the shackles and the convention,
that kept them tamed,
that kept them regulated,
and kept them to what it thought need to be.
But the sparks, even though small,
from those together has brought light,
not a meteor shower,
the opposite of a solar eclipse,
the light in the deepest night that shines from the other horizon,
reborn with the smallest circles of radiance.
The steps synchronize in unison.
The swings rock in unison.
Every breath that manifests the representation of the time that we will never forget, never be able to forget,
and most importantly,
never will forget,
is now engraved in every drop of perspiration,
every cry against the flow of time,
every muscle contraction in the heart,
every amp of current that execute the nerve,
and it is the everlasting youth,
that will last the eternity.

Congratulations, and may you see the greatest fortune.

Revolution

Do you hear the tremor racing towards the end of the world
where the restless souls are pervaded with contempt
sprun by chains of chaos

Do you hear the curse drowning the never-reaching finishing line
where the brutal sacrifices are mistaken for glory
fabled by a falsification of ideals

Do you hear the sobbers echoing through the corridor of time
where the inevitable destinies are forsaken by malice
born from the cycle of calamity

Do you hear the outcry deafening the delicate sense of reason
where the grieving hearts are torn again
clicked once and halted everything to suspension

Nothing in this world is eternal
and nothing in this world stops you from changing
If revolution is the only option
then please not
lose your kindness or your nobility

Strength

In the drizzling spring night,
chilled air in the bamboo garden,
when bloody crimson flashes with a killing intent,
life flickers on a knife's edge,
I asked him,
is it trust that makes you strong?

In the starry summer night,
gentle air on the highway side,
when noble azure dyes in a darker shade,
life suspends on a foreign planet,
I asked him,
is it devotion that makes you strong?

In the windy autumn night,
tense air by the riverbank,
when patient indigo poises with dignity,
life heals scars and moves on,
I asked him,
is it redemption that makes you strong?

In the merry winter night,
soft air between two equals,
when fierce white softens and strides forward,
life wonders on another crossroad,
I asked him,
is it kindness that makes you strong?

In the blooming spring dawn,
sweet air of a flowering field,
when graceful pearl renders melodies of peace,
life finally brings an understanding,
I asked him,
is it perseverance that makes you strong?

In the bright summer dawn,
warm air between a parent and a child,
when shining golden hides the secrets of the world,
life has much sadness but also much hope,
I asked him,
is it family that makes you strong?

In the tearful autumn dawn,
unsettling air filled with scattered pages,
when flushing pink bids memories farewell,
life challenges miracles,
I asked him,
is it love that makes you strong?

In the harsh winter dawn,
cutting air in the snowy forest,
when endless black cries out with pain and hatred,
life fades into nothingness at the cost of triumph,
I asked him,
is it justice that makes you strong?

What makes a man strong?
How to make a man strong?
Twilight concludes the tales of the sun.
the tales of crescents are yet to begin.
Then one more day awaits.

To reach, to grasp, to strive, to pursue,
Not to lose heart
that made a man strong.

Madness Enchantment

Fury blinds my reasons
to whose master I serve
Rage defines my strength
to whose desire I tread

Once perfect
Once noble
Yet neither
defines me full

The blackened chains
bind my crime
The wavering shadows
relate my shame

Curses!
My heart belongs to three:
My king
the inhuman righteousness
My queen
the humane vice
Myself
hew the spirit of chivalry
yet in heart the love of a common man

I long for punishment
yet the saint granted me none
the empty torture
grinds slowly
steadily
and never ending

If the world is truly just
let my king show me compassion of anger
let my queen be vindicated of her sins
and let me be the first one
dying for king's honor

Unrest, unrest, unrest
till madness holds me whole.

To My Valetine (Facebook Repost)

Going round and round, all night long (actually just five minutes).
I can see you shine baby, in the mirror the curvy body (and on screen, CH Instrument).
The wholesome rear, I am in tear (Aww...F***king dimethylamine)
No, you are not an ugly duckling, but a delicate cell demanding careful handling (wait a minute...my solvent isn't dry?)
Though life came in different wave forms, I see you clear from the noise storms (well, the derivative is zero there)
Slow down from scanning the world, finally appears your true potential (stay on target, stay on target)
In my hand, silver, platinum, and gold, but your existence is more than fivefold (OMG! GOOD DATA! GOOD DATA!)
So come to me, reversible or not, I will show you a foxtrot (remember to do figure 8 on the polishing pad)
Worn and I see you sleep, until next time I take you by sweep (how many samples do I have left?)

-To the beloved potentiostat