Dreams

Who are you? The mysterious girl without a face,
yet  my heart boils in the whisper of your name.
What is it again?
The last trace, a shadowy silhouette of flowing long hair,
Glimpse of eyes as bright as the glittering gems,
My own too cautious and embarrassed
to be caught in its lustrous rays.
An affection that will bring ruins to a friendship;
An affection so obvious and constantly denied.
A sail out of an isolated island into the tempesting sea,
A border entrenched deep, kneel, touch, and sigh in regret.
Among all, my sight only fixed on you,
even though I believed we both understood,
I brought no proof, no confirmation, no declaration, and no condolence.
The call that asked me,
“What do you want the most?”
I am afraid to say you,
so I replied,
“Knowledge on the motive, the process, and the structure of the humanly heart.”
Or because I am afraid of myself, the uncontrollable variable.
“Don’t you already have it?”
The incomprehensible existence, I do acknowledge.
Yet I cannot say it.
Maybe one day, when I finally relinquish my role
as a knight, a protector from burdens.
I can become your equal. 

Exchange Part II

The Veroné Bridge is one of the most ancient manmade structure on the continent. Its first construction was dated way back, rumored to be a relic from the Second Divine Intervention. The legend has it that one of the twelve guardians, Vercirphone, purged the one of twenty-seven Archdemon from the central of the lake by freezing the entire lake and then piercing it with the Lance of Crimson Roses. The lance was said to have sealed the demonic power and convert the remains of the Archdemon into a sizable island in the middle of the lake. Thus, the island became one of the holy sites for all who worship the three goddesses of creation.
The bridge from the south bank was first constructed as a road of pilgrimage, since frequent fogs upon the lake and strong current made boating navigation difficult. Later, the Church found that the island can function as an anchor point for a bridge way that connects the south bank to the north bank. Traveling across the lake by the bridge, which usually involves heading west for the ferry at Cheron, was then easier and faster. The missionary outpost soon became a popular trading ground and a vital transportation route. Since the bridge way did pass through one of the "holy grounds" declared by the Church, it was quite legitimate for the Church to pass through a travel tariff for any traffic using the bridge .
However, bridge ferry soon became more popular as the business expanded on the lake banks, lands that were not taxed by the Church. Ferry services overtook the carriage services and became the most dominant transportation method. As long as the bridge could be seen in the fog, the boat had no problem reaching the docks on the islands. Traders picked their preference of  boats, having a greater capacity and lower maintenance cost. The pilgrims rarely traveled by horses. The carriage travel on bridges became an exclusive for the upper class. So the two lane stone bridge was never expanded on for the past, maybe a few hundred years, but was  maintained frequently in good shape to be the guide for trading boats. Maybe a few years after the construction of the north bank bridge, the Church dropped the rate on bridge crossing and increased the docking fee. No surprise there.

Spring Sun

Confusions in the deep winter's darkness
Dispelled by the clarity of the spring sun
Again to life,
Again to light,
Amongst all unforgiving cruelties,
it alone gives strength to rise beyond Struggle is just a prelude to victory
Let defeat be another stepping stone
Bless to learning,
Bless to living,
Besides headaches and heartaches,
it moves forward once more
Be the winter moonlight
Be the spring rays
I started walking with my head high
Past sorrows
Past grieves
Past troubles
Past harms
Trek far
in where and everywhere I can find light.

A Good-for-Nothing Lament

The world is just. The world is fair. The world is kind. The world is pretty.
I want to believe that.
One says, "Have you ever believed in miracles and salvation?"
One answers, "No, we are just toys of gods."
One says, "Maybe you should try it."
One answers, "I tried. I am tired of waiting."
I humbled myself before the great power,
kneeling like many others,
begging for a drop of bless,
holding a pure heart,
without hatred towards it,
without hatred towards them.
Yet its sights passed me,
I congratulate and celebrate with a pure heart,
without malice towards it,
without malice towards them.
Selfish desire is the path of evil, quoted and remembered.
Yet curious,
if gods did not choose me because it was not my destiny, what will be?
if gods did not choose me out of obligations, what prayer will reach them?
If I can uphold its glory and mine, what trail must I undertake?
If I cannot see its thoughts, let me at least believe it is righteous and just. That is why I am a pagan agnostist.
Deity does not reside in heaven; it resides in every one of us.

Hitsuzen?

No one yet knows the wheel of fortunes
lands in luck or lands in curse
The present affects the future
chaotic flaps of butterfly wings
How much? Would I ask
Difference made
As much as the endless infinity
to of its inverse
None is yet revealed
Thus inevitability of a true wish
will it decide the future
or is it ordained
Justified the ends with its mean
isn't it just comfort of a paper shawl
or truly a powerful morph
Then is regret of any purpose
if all follow the path
forever and ever
Are emotions strayed
if dies are cast
slowly but surely
If the world is really two parts
is it fated to be so
or there is space
for more
The answers will not answer the question
The questions will request no answers
Only moves
the wheel of fortunes.

The Tales of a Knight-to-Be and His Princess

He has vowed on the sun and the moon that he will be her protector, even though he knows that no matter how much passion he has for her, she cannot and will not return in tenderness. Such passion is a one-sided conviction, a path doomed for nothingness, he knows. It is not that he is incapable of touching her heart and shielding her from sadness and giving her courage when she is overwhelmed by despair. It is just that he knows he cannot give her everything and he knows that she cannot give her everything either. So when they parted on the circumstances, he did not declare to her that he will love her for life nor he urged a promise from his obvious feelings. He said to her, "Let me become your knight-to-be. Call my name in the time of need and let me hear so. I shall be on your side and do as much as I am allowed."
 

Even though he cursed his choice for not telling her everything, he remained firm for what he chose. She is the princess, maybe the one that will bring him happiness. Even though it is not definitely, he can tell that he could not stop thinking about her as she was smiling afar in his dreams. But because she is the princess, she has responsibility far more than a desirable mate and she has potential far more than a girl waiting to be wed.
 

She can reach much farther than I will ever imagine, he told himself, and I will allow her to do so. If I should be its obstacle, I should eliminate myself. 
Such selfish sense of accomplishment and sacrifice that will help no one, not even himself.
 

But he still chose to believe that, because he was afraid that he could not handle the responsibility. Because he was afraid that he could not make her happy, or just not perfectly happy. He gave himself the excuse, I do not have time, even though I have desired so.
 

 A deluded weakling he was, but the heart was true. Though he was ultimately incapable, he nevertheless prayed for her happiness from the very origin of his heart. Maybe he knows that she would love someone else or already has loved someone else, or that he knows his weaknesses will in the end impend her from realizing her potential. It does not matter no more.
 

If goddess shall smile upon my prayers, I shall be glad. If not, I shall continue to pray.

Rozen Maiden

When I first learned about Rozen Maiden, I have immediately categorized this into the Harem anime as Tenchi Muyo or Shuffle. I mean Shinku is already the fifth dolls, I would not be surprised that two or three more of her sisters will join her. At the best, it may match Ah! My Goddess in terms of sweet and innocent affection than just hitherto of fan service. 

But the truth is, I was very much mistaken. 

Maybe it is the beautiful character designs, or splendid voice acting, or just the distinct humanity in the female casts (in a good way, comparing to Higarushi no Naka Koro ni ... or When They Cry), Rozen Maiden became an immediate favorite, a pleasant surprise. 

The story all begins with the legendary doll maker, Rozen, who spent his life to create the perfect girl, "Alice." In his pursuit, six sister dolls, who he called "Rozen Maidens," are created as models or prototypes for his ultimate masterpiece. However, Rozen did not build Alice. Instead, in each Rozen Maiden, he placed a mysterious power called "Rosen Mystica" and set a system called "Alice Game." It is said that the Rozen Maiden, who gathers all piece of Rosen Mystica, will become Alice. The Rozen Maidens, who are capable of motions and feelings by the Rosen Mystica, love Rozen as daughters love their father. They believe that their greatest achievement will be complete Alice for the sake of Rozen. 

Of course, every one of the Rozen Maidens wants to be the one to become Alice, even by the meanings of force to covet others' Rosen Mystica. Battles are assured. To gain an advantage, the maidens form contact with human, who they called "Medium," to receive energy (Fate/Stay Night, anyone?). The losers in the Alice game will forfeit their Rosen Mystica, rendering them thoughtless and motionless as ordinary dolls. 

And one day many many years later, Sakurada Jun receives this email... 

Story wise, I have to say--it is a killer. The story is very nicely paced. Drama is slowly built by in each episode by subtle revelation, by language or by action. The plot line is mostly enhanced by the characters. Even though there are only twelve episodes, each character is well developed but not completely revealed. The personalities of the dolls are clear and unique. Also, characters are consistent; their roles in the story are not overly dramatic to be perceived as unrealistic, but still exciting enough for a slight laugh or a saddening sigh. The juxtaposition of more mature mind and a very childish appearance of the Rozen Maidens leaves behind an impression, especially in the case of Shinku and Shugintou. However, there are also the childish cuteness manifested in every Maidens, maybe more so in Hinaichigo. Shinku's love for Detective Kunkun and Suisenseki's devious pranks are quite memerable. The male lead, Jun, is the most developed character as he moves away from the initial self-isolation and learns the courage to care for the others. The awkwardness of "boy meets girl" with the particular situation gives many heartfelt comedy. 

The visual presentation is great. Though not to the level of astonishing as some other anime like Last Exile, the details presented are excellent. The complex clothing in the character designs is very well done. Although not strong in action, the battle sequences are enough to convey the overall situation without the sense of repetition. The overall style is warm and simple, which fits the subject and the length well. 

Great voice acting helps to bring out the emotional elements even more so than the story itself. 

There are quite a few memorable inserts, like Battle of Roses and Kowareta Sekai.   As the most tracks cover the calm (most of the time) daily life in the Sakurada Household, the slow light rhythms do their job. Overall, the soundtracks are difficult to stand out in situations to control the emotional flows in most cases. However, whenever they do, the effect is more than amazing. 

Overall, I gave Rozen Maiden a 9.3 / 10.0 as the conflicts to become the perfect girl continue to intervene the lives of the sister dolls. Maybe the whole judgment is based on a betrayal of expectation, but the excellent performance is more than enough to make Rozen Maiden an outstanding title.
Greatly Recommended for those liking a story driven anime.